July 20, 2015

Merrit Malloy

Every creative person is inspired by others and I'm certainly no exception. And here, I'm happy to highlight a writer, a poet, a true creative force of nature, Merrit Malloy.


For me, of course, she is truly timeless. I first read her words when I picked up a poetry book that my mother had left out on the coffee table. I devoured the book and immediately claimed it as my own. (I don't know that my mother knows to this day where "that little book of mine" disappeared to.)

Her words were simple and complicated, direct and elusive, beautiful and painful. To a young boy struggling with every aspect of his own life, the words felt like they were written just for me. I understood that these were the words of a woman navigating her way through life and love, but they might just as well have been written to explain my own journey of fear, loss, and hiding.

90049
The loneliest place
I've ever been
Was not when
I was alone.
It was in a room
In West Los Angeles
Where I was in love
With someone
Who wasn't in love
With me.
Local Anesthetic
Sometimes I think
That I'm not really present at my life,
As though it goes on
without my permission.
Sometimes
although I don't want to die
I want to stop living.
I want to climb into the other side
Of my face
And observe my experiences
Without having them.
Sometimes
and only once in a while,
I want to stop living,
But I really don't want
to die.

She was the first person to tell me, in a way that I could understand, that words are more powerful than the strongest weapon. And I was hooked, even then. My precocious young self already understood the magic of the right words shared at the right time.

Now, thanks to the power of the internet and the access of social media, I have had the opportunity to engage in a private conversation with her and to express my lifelong gratitude to her. She ignited the passion in me that led me to this point in my life, to where I feel like I can honestly describe myself as a writer.

Thank you again, Merrit Malloy. Your words, and your spirit, continue to touch my life and my heart.

For those interested in reading more from Merrit Malloy, here's your link. Enjoy.